The plan

image

***

It was still seared into his memory, the moment when he’d told her. Fear had flashed across her face at first, but that had quickly turned to contempt.

“I can’t actually believe you thought you’d get away with it.”

She’d spat the words at him, not caring how hurtful they were.

“I trusted you, and this is how you repay me?”

He’d tried to explain to her that this, in fact, was the deepest kind of trust. He’d let her be a part of something special, something new. But she was having none of it.

She had almost destroyed him, but this time would be different.

He had it all worked out: how he’d reel her in, draw her closer and closer so that by the time he revealed the truth she would be in too deep to see things any other way. And if she let him down – well, he was ready for that too. He knew exactly how he was going to cover his tracks this time.

She wouldn’t let him down though, not this one.

He scrolled through the information he had about her so far – the photographs, the friends, the good times and the bad. He already felt he knew her intimately, and the next stage would fill the gaps that were remaining.

She had no idea what was about to begin. He wished he could tell her, let her in on his plan and watch the admiration spread across her pretty face, but there was no doubt in his mind that this was how it had to be.

He looked at the bank of screens staring coldly at him for the last time and picked up the black holdall at his feet. If he could just get this bit right then everything else would fall into place.

The leather of his gloves hugged his hands assertively. He could do this. He would prove them all wrong. And he would not make the same mistakes again.

***

Thank you to Sara at Mum Turned Mom for inspiring this post with her prompt: ‘The mistakes we make…’.

This piece is another exercise in character development, this time jumping inside the head of my antagonist at the point the novel begins. The story we actually hear unfolds from the protagonist’s point of view and it is a long way into the novel before the truth begins to come out.

mumturnedmom
Nikki Young Writes

16 thoughts on “The plan

    1. sophieblovett Post author

      I’m actually now seriously thinking about putting a scene like this at the beginning of the book! Loving how our little writing community is helping me see things in a different light 🙂

      Reply
  1. maddy@writingbubble

    Ooh there is a horrible air of menace to this – and I mean that as a compliment! Very dark. Your novel sounds like it will be gripping! I hope he gets his just desserts as he clearly isn’t Mr nice guy. I feel quite unsettled now… #fridayfiction

    Reply
    1. sophieblovett Post author

      That’s the effect I was going for 🙂 I’m beginning to think I need more of his voice in the novel as it’s so hard to build the sense of dread purely from Grace’s perspective…

      Reply
  2. Emily Organ

    I was really hoping for a hint on what he’s going to do, but no! Cleverly written. I’m guessing it’s going to be sinister but I can’t work out if he’s being malicious or genuinely thinks it’s for the best. I like writing which keeps me guessing, nicely done.

    Reply
    1. sophieblovett Post author

      Thank you 🙂 And you’ve hit on quite a lot here in relation to how his character unfolds as the novel goes on… I’m trying to work out at the moment how long I can keep people guessing for. Ideally it’ll be about 200 pages, but I’m not sure if I’m quite clever enough! We shall see…

      Reply
  3. Pingback: Another voice | Sophie is…

  4. deskmonkeymummy

    Oh, this is exciting! A glimpse into your characters.
    Now I’m trying to piece the novel together in my head, what with the dream thing and this sequence.
    I like that it has a hint of the sinister about it x

    Reply

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