Category Archives: Sophie is parenting

Word of the Week: Out

Today the word that sums up the week that was is:

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It could just as easily have been ‘door’ – both words in Arthur’s burgeoning vocabulary that he’s using to let me know he wants to be outdoors. Permanently, I reckon, if he got his way. Which definitely bodes well for all the camping trips we have planned for this summer!

This week, though, his need for fresh air and open space has definitely saved my sanity. I’ve been in the final throes of the novel: I started the week with about six thousand words left to write, and part of me just wanted to get it done. I was impatient, and excited to see how the details would pan out. I mean, I vaguely knew what was going to happen in the end, but not until it was written would I know for sure.

But combining writing with motherhood means I’m not entirely in charge of my schedule. Writing happens when Arthur naps, and in between – well, I have no doubt it did me good to get out and about.

On Monday the grey drizzle of the weekend lingered, yet still at lunchtime Arthur had his face up against the glass doors, longing to escape. I managed to distract him till after the post lunch writing session when miraculously the cloud began to clear and we went to let off some steam around Shoalstone pool.

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On Tuesday it was glorious out, and it was all I could do to force myself to sit down at my computer. The story quickly captured me of course, but once Arthur had woken up I was very glad of the lunchtime picnic we’d planned with friends at Breakwater beach.

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On Wednesday I woke up knowing that today was the day: I was on the final chapter, and as I’d been drifting off to sleep the night before the closing paragraph had come to me, so all I had to do was fill in the gaps. The words flowed as soon as Arthur drifted off for his morning nap, and I finished just as he was waking up so we could both enjoy a celebratory stroll to Berry Head in the afternoon.

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Yesterday the celebrations continued when we spent pretty much the whole day outdoors with some friends at Paignton Zoo. Arthur was in his element – especially when we found an area we’d not discovered before where he could get up close and personal with some friendly goats.

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All in all this week’s been a bit of a whirlwind really. My brain has been on overdrive – first with the challenge of pulling the ninety thousand words of novel I’ve been writing to a satisfying close, then with the realisation that this thing that’s been giving me purpose for the last three months has ended. Having Arthur to shift my focus away from myself has been, as it always is, fantastic. And the fact that he’s wanted that focus to be on going OUT has been even better.

The Reading Residence

Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall

My book-eating boy

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I have once again been struck by Arthur’s appetite for books. Not in a literal, chewing on them sense, though you’d be forgiven for thinking that with his general partiality to eating inanimate objects. No – the appetite I am referring to here is for what the books contain, the pictures and increasingly the words upon their pages.

He’s been interested in books since he was very small, enjoying being read to and curiously seeking them out as soon as he was able to move around. Now he’ll happily sit and ‘read’ to himself – carefully turning the pages, pointing at things he recognises and saying their names. But what he really, really loves is when someone reads with him.

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He’s developed this super cute and utterly irresistible technique of finding a book, bringing it to me or Leigh, holding it up to us until we stop whatever we’re doing and sit down, and then climbing into our lap expectantly.

Yesterday his appetite was almost insatiable. In between writing the penultimate chapter of the novel, a lunch time beach picnic and a spot of collage making we read: Dear Zoo, We’re Going on a Bear Hunt, The Snail and the Whale (twice), What can you See Spot?, Hugless Douglas finds a Hug, That’s Not my Reindeer, Eating the Rainbow, Goodnight Moon and It’s Time to Sleep my Love. Oh, and whilst we were at the beach my friend produced a book and he virtually clambered over her two boys to get into her lap ready to be read to!

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I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to manage to keep this pace up, but I’m loathe to start refusing Arthur books. It makes me very happy that he enjoys not only the stories, which in our multimedia technologically savvy world could come from a multitude of sources, but that he so appreciates the tactile nature of the books themselves. I hope it’s something he manages to hold on to as he discovers all the other distractions that are on offer, and in the mean time I will do all I can to stop and read to him whenever he approaches, book in hand.

After all, quite aside from how much I enjoy it too, I’m not sure there can be many more important things I should be doing at any given moment than sharing a book with my child.

Welcome to the weekend

Come Friday evening we’re usually pretty exhausted, and last week was no exception. Arthur and I had been booked up with play dates and activities every day – though we had lots of fun it maybe would have been sensible to leave us with a bit of breathing space. With my novel deadline fast approaching I was keen to get lots of writing done too, and of course that coincided with having lots of things I wanted to add to the blog!

By the time Leigh got home at about 6.30, tired and stressed by a long commute and an irritating encounter at work, we were very tempted to go to the pub. But instead we decided to go for a walk. Leigh put Arthur in the sling, and we set off up to Berry Head to catch the last of the evening light.

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Arthur loves being carried by his dada, and the stresses of the week quickly melted away for Leigh: I think it would be nigh on impossible to stay stressed with the combination of fresh air, beautiful views and baby cuddles. They carried on their bonding when we got up to the fort, examining the world around them. As usual Arthur was thrilled to be outside.

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I managed to get some mama cuddles too, though that did involve quite a bit of chasing. As Arthur gets faster we’ll definitely need to teach him about cliffs!

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As the sun began to disappear and thoughts of dinner set in Leigh put Arthur back in the sling to head home. It was lovely to watch him snuggle up against his dada, him calmed and Leigh reinvigorated by our little adventure.

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By the time we did get home Arthur had drifted off, so he even managed to fit in a power nap before we all sat down to dinner. It was the perfect start to the weekend, a weekend that turned out to be decidedly grey and drizzly – something that made me even more glad we’d made the most of that Friday sunshine!


      Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall

 

Word of the Week: Hiding

Today the word that sums up the week that was is:

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Even just thinking about it now makes me giggle. It started in the kitchen, where Arthur often likes to wander around when I’m cooking or cleaning. He’d gone very quiet, and my heart leapt into my mouth – until I heard a squeak and found him squished in the corner by the dresser.

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It happened again when we were up in the bathroom one morning getting ready for the day: we were both brushing our teeth, and I turned around to see him disappear into the cubby hole where the laundry lives looking very pleased with himself.

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Then when we were in the park with friends he was all of a sudden nowhere to be seen. He’d found himself a quiet corner in the play house and was just hanging out, waiting to be found.

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His favourite spot at the moment is under the stairs, and often when Leigh or I are panicking this is where he’ll be, tucked in between packs of nappies and his buggy.

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It’s the glee on his face that gets me every time: he’s just so thrilled at having invented this new game. I’m not sure where he’s got it from as we hadn’t yet got round to playing hide and seek. I think part of it is just the particular comfort of being in a small space, but he’s definitely waiting for someone to find him too.

The game doesn’t always work out quite as planned. I had to rescue him when he managed to crawl under the sofa in my writing room when my focus was on the last few lines of a chapter.

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And I think he’s chancing it a little to think we won’t notice when he slips behind the kitchen lamp.

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But all in all this new game, and Arthur’s conscious sense of interactive play, has the potential to be lots and lots of fun. I’ll just have to hope he doesn’t get too creative in his hiding places!

The Reading Residence

 

Goodbye Jolly Babies

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Today was an important day for Arthur as it marked his first graduation. After Easter we will be not be going back to Jolly Babies, the brilliant music group we’ve enjoyed since he was only twelve weeks old: instead he will be taking his place in Music with Mummy.

We’ve both really loved this group, held in the beautiful setting of Lupton House on the outskirts of Brixham. It was one of the very first groups we started going to regularly, and through it we have made some firm friends. It’s run by Carol, who with her boundless energy has seen me through many a sleep deprived haze. She manages to keep the atmosphere relaxed whilst still getting through lots of musical activities – no mean feat whilst juggling tiny babies, newly mobile toddlers and gossiping mums.

Together we’ve sung old favourites and learnt new songs, all with appropriate actions. Arthur’s favourite seems to be Wind the Bobbin Up – I’ll catch him randomly doing the arm movements around the house, and suspect they’ll be making their way into his disco dancing moves for years to come…

Through the classes Arthur has discovered a whole range of percussion instruments, which he is just beginning to progress from tasting to exploring in a more suitably rhythmic way. He saw his first bubbles there, and it’s always been a highlight when the bubble machine has come out at the end of each term.

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Arthur first learnt to play ball through one of Carol’s songs too, and has really enjoyed the range of cuddly creatures she incorporates. In fact he’s developed a bit of a reputation as a bear thief…

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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that bubble, ball and bear were amongst Arthur’s first words, but that’s not all he’s learnt. The classes have helped him become more confident, to enjoy mixing with other babies and their parents. And also to help to nurture a clear love of music that I feel sure will continue to grow.

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Although our next class will still be with Carol, in the same building, and will reunite us with friends who have already graduated, a big part of me is sad to be leaving Jolly Babies behind. It’s been such a big part of Arthur’s development so far, and the fact we’re moving on just serves to remind me how crazily fast my baby is growing up! I’m sure Music with Mummy will be fab too though – look out for more updates when we’re settled.

Thank you to Carol for the pictures charting Arthur’s journey in Jolly Babies.

Post Comment Love

 

My bouldering bambino

Today we finally got round to going to somewhere I’ve been meaning to check out for ages: The Boulder Bunker, an awesome little climbing centre in Torquay.

I’ve dabbled in climbing at various points, but never managed to take it up seriously. What I love about it – and why I’d like Arthur to have the chance to try it out – is that it is all about using your body to the max, and a perfect way to combine keeping healthy with exploring the great outdoors.

Arthur is still a little little for the climbing walls, but he loved the hippos and was certainly curious about how he might get to them when they were placed tantalisingly out of reach.

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Most of all though he just relished the chance to be let loose somewhere new – and somewhere safe, where he could topple over giggling to his heart’s content. He loved rolling (and hugging) the giant exercise balls, and watched with interest as the older kids tested their balance on the slack-line and clambered over the climbing frame. I know it won’t be long before he’s joining them.

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It was great to find somewhere set up so well for kids where Arthur could really let off steam and where, over time, he’ll be perfectly placed to learn a valuable skill. We have no end of brilliant things to do outdoors down here, but on a drizzly day like today The Boulder Bunker was just what we needed. We’ll definitely be back – and who knows, maybe I’ll be tempted to take up bouldering too!



Why we need to lay off the tests and give our children space to learn

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If this article had been published today, I would have had it pegged as an April fool. Testing and academic rigour for two year olds? Surely a predictably unfunny joke dreamt up by someone at the DfE to keep us on our toes. Sadly of course that is not the case. The letter that Wilshaw sent to Early Years inspectors was published on Friday, and it appears that he is deadly serious.

It comes as part of the latest onslaught on childhood and a meaningful education system which, if Gove et al get their way, will result in formal testing from age four, the reinstatement of national tests at seven, and the raising of the bar for schools as well as individual children in the year 6 SATs.

I am not an Early Years specialist: my expertise comes from ten years working in Secondary, and more recently as the mother of a fifteen month old. I do not intend to comment on Early Years provision, either current or proposed. What I do have an opinion on – and a strong one at that – is the damage that this regime of testing will cause.

Firstly, there is the stress and psychological pressure that comes with any test, however much its proponents try to play it down. Even if we are to consider the reception ‘check’ as a baseline assessment, nervous parents will no doubt want their offspring to do the best they can – and despair if they are found to be wanting. This nervousness and sense of expectation will naturally be passed on to the kids themselves. To be honest I’m having trouble marrying the idea of this as a baseline with the testing that will already have been going on for the previous two years: these tests will generate data, the data will have to be kept and compared, and suddenly the reception ‘check’ becomes a summative assessment of progress – at least for those children unlucky enough to have been in the system from the start.

Then of course there’s the question of what will be done with the data, how it will be applied to the provision of education for children in their primary years – a period when there will of course be regular high-stakes testing on the cards. The first and most obvious answer is that pupils will be set or streamed by ability. In fact in much of the comment I’ve read on this issue grouping by ability seems to be a given. And yet the research shows that this is damaging to pupil progress – particularly for the ‘less able’ pupils who this regime of testing is ostensibly meant to protect.

Children will be labelled, told what they are good at (perhaps) and where they are failing, and thus will begin the cycle of diminishing self-esteem that will serve to crush their potential.

There is also the question of what happens to the curriculum. With all the will in the world, when the stakes are high schools will teach to the test. Succeeding in the narrow framework the test defines is vital for the pupils and the teachers – far more immediately valuable than the pesky business of creating a lifelong love of learning. And what can be tested is necessarily narrow – it needs to be objective and quantifiable when so much of learning (especially for very young children) quite simply isn’t.

What happens to the space for children to play and explore and discover? What happens to the opportunities for them to surprise and delight with a fresh solution to a problem? What happens to the freedom for them to follow a spark of interest and have the satisfaction of finding something new? It strikes me as so spectacularly arrogant that this government can believe they know what is best for our children. My son amazes me every day: if I was focused on teaching him my truths there is so much I would miss, and so much of his potential that would go unrealised.

The irony of this all is that Wilshaw claims his goal is to prepare children for the demands of their education further down the line, and yet my experience of dealing with shell-shocked eleven year olds as they transitioned to secondary school taught me that testing does anything but. Though each cohort would come in with increasingly impressive KS2 scores, they would be broadly the same in terms of their actual ability. As an English teacher, much of year 7 was spent freeing them up to be creative again, to have their own thoughts, to realise that there was more to a good story than a range of connectives and lots of semi-colons. Some students were afraid to write anything at all for fear of not being able to spell correctly – and when they did they restricted their vocabulary in order to play it safe. Even by Wilshaw’s narrow view of the world, in order for students to have a hope of reaching the higher grades at GCSE they would need to be able to be perceptive, to offer original ideas and read between the lines, to take risks in their interpretations and in their own writing. And even to get that far they would need to have a sense of why they were doing it – the lure of yet another high-stakes test just isn’t going to cut it for most kids.

It is ultimately this goal of his that is the most telling thing of all. Education at any stage should be about preparing young people for the rest of their lives, not just the next phase of education.

In the early years it is not so much what children are learning that is the key, but who they are becoming: each experience lays down the very foundations of their personalities, shapes the people who they are going to be. By reducing this process to easily measurable goals that can be tested we will be doing our children a great disservice, and very possibly causing irrevocable damage that society will be left to fix for years to come.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

 

Arthur’s castle

I have been well and truly spoilt this Mother’s Day. A lie in, a bath, delicious food, gorgeous flowers and some very sweet presents. We may have had words last year after Leigh underestimated how important this day would be to me as a new mum, but he’s well and truly outdone himself this time round. And in the midst of it all, we even had an adventure: we’ve driven past Berry Pomeroy castle countless times, but today we finally went to visit.

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Arthur was totally in his element. The picture above shows him taking a break after chasing shadows and older boys around the ruins, pausing every so often to stroke the moss or post gravel through drains. We’d started our explorations in the woodland surrounding the castle itself: there was a particular tree that we passed as we meandered down the muddy path which Arthur was just mesmerised by

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By the time we got back up to the castle, my mum and dad were waiting for us. It’s times like this that I’m very glad my parents are close by: I may have transitioned into the ‘mum’ role myself now but it still feels pretty important to hang out with my own mum on Mother’s Day. Arthur seemed to approve of our choice of companions too: once he’d spotted his Grampa and the woman who still has no name, Leigh and I hardly got a look in.

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It was so much fun for us to explore somewhere new, and to watch Arthur enjoying a brand new environment with people who he has so clearly come to love and trust. I’ve always had a bit of a thing for ruins, and shadows, and dungeons, and contrasts – and today’s adventure offered those up in spades.

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I’m very glad we finally ventured into our local castle: our trip has inspired us to plan visits to many more. There’s nothing quite like the history that is infused in the walls of a building, and though it may be many years before Arthur understands the significance of the stones he marvels over I think there’s an awful lot he can soak up from them in the mean time.

 

Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall

Word of the Week: Mess

Today the word that sums up the week that was is:

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As it happens, this doesn’t actually refer to mess that was made, but rather mess that wasn’t. In fact mess that I think I’ve been a little afraid of making, a fear I might have inadvertently passed on to Arthur. It is the glorious, creative, colourful mess that comes from painting: something I’ve avoided doing with Arthur for far too long.

It’s a little odd, really. Those that know me would certainly not put me in the category of people who are mess averse. I’ve never been one for minimalism, and have embraced all sorts of mess with Arthur so far: the avocado and porridge face packs that come with baby led weaning, the bathroom floor tsunamis in the name of watery fun, the muddy knees (and hands, and noses) of outdoor exploration. But for some reason, despite loving art in all it’s forms and being brought up by a supremely creative mother who facilitated endless projects, I have thus far shied away from adding paint to the list of things Arthur has been allowed to make a mess with.

And this week, I decided it was time that changed. I bit the bullet, got out the various supplies I’ve collected so far, and waited for Arthur to make a mess. Except he didn’t seem all that impressed. It didn’t help that the first thing he did was put the paint-laden brush in his mouth – those embittering agents really don’t taste all that great. I felt a bit guilty for setting him up in his high chair at the spot at the table where he normally eats… Confusing much?

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He seemed vaguely interested in the brushes and stamps I’d been recommended by a friend, but admittedly more in the different sounds they made when he banged them on the table than in what would happen if he put them in contact with the gloopy stuff.

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And he was considerably less impressed when I gave him a helping hand to coat his fingers in said gloopy stuff, appearing to get positively afraid of what it might do as our little art session went on.

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I tried my best to model the messiness, sacrificing any attempt at artistic merit for the sake of lots of smooshing and smearing and slapping. But he really wasn’t having any of it, and in the end I had to admit defeat.

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I’m a little mortified that my reticence to get out the paints for anything other than tightly controlled mummy-led crafts over the past fifteen months might have given Arthur a paint phobia. And for that reason alone I will most definitely be persevering. I’m thinking next time we should scrap the high chair, and just free things up with paper on the floor. I admit I’m cringing a little as I write that with thoughts of baby paint handprints over everything the minute my back is turned, but if that’s the sacrifice I have to make then so be it.

If all goes to plan, there should be plenty of messy, paint-splattered posts in the weeks and months to come. Wish us luck! It’ll be fun, right?

 

The Reading Residence

The secrets of my mummy bag

Gone are the days when I could leave the house with a quick check of phone, wallet, keys and never a backward glance. Of course I now need to make sure I have the baby with me, but with him comes a whole host of paraphernalia. Find out what Arthur and I never venture out and about without over on Make, Do and Push today!

Thanks to the lovely Hannah for featuring us on her beautiful blog.

Make, Do and Push!