Monthly Archives: November 2014

Why I love wearing my toddler

IMG_8389

I’ve been meaning to write this post for ages. I got distracted during International Babywearing Week and a few irritating encounters meant I ended up writing about the things not to say to a babywearing mama. But actually my experience of wearing my ever-growing baby is an overwhelmingly positive one, and as Arthur approaches his second birthday that’s what I want to focus on.

So without any further ado, here are the reasons why I absolutely love wearing my toddler:

1) It gives us both some company

IMG_7064

I don’t drive, which means that getting anywhere tends to involve lots of walking and often also the bus. This would mean that Arthur would be spending an awful lot of time in a pram, which to me would seem a rather lonely option for both of us!

With Arthur in the sling, he’s up on my level. He sees the things I see, and we can talk about them. When I bump into friends he’s right in the middle of the conversation – not waiting for me to finish whilst he looks at our knees.

I love that he’s included in my world, and that I get to have him there as a little companion. Even with a parent-facing pram I think that closeness would be very hard to achieve.

2) It keeps him safe

Now I’m not saying that prams aren’t safe, but there have been lots of situations when I’ve been glad that Arthur’s up where I can really keep an eye on him.

In crowds for example, especially if there are smokers about. Or in heavy traffic: less of an issue in Devon, but on the London streets I become very conscious that a pram would put him at exhaust level. On our country walks dogs are more often the issue – we’ve had a few close calls when he’s enthusiastically run up to embrace them, but it’s nice to know I can whisk him up if I need to.

I know if he’s too hot or too cold, if he’s frightened or sad. Ultimately there can’t really be anywhere safer for my little boy than cuddled up next to me.

3) It keeps me strong

IMG_0576

There is no denying that walking around with a 15kg weight strapped to you feels like a pretty good workout after a couple of hours. My carrier distributes the weight evenly so I very rarely have an aching back, but my core and my legs are definitely working harder.

With wearing a toddler, it becomes even more important to have a well designed carrier. I love my Connecta for it’s combination of support and ease of use, whilst other toddler-wearing friends swear by the more traditional Mei Tais or woven wraps. There are a whole range of slings and carriers designed for toddlers and even pre-schoolers on the market – something I had no idea about before I entered the wonderful world of babywearing, and something well worth investigating if you’re keen to keep on wearing your baby for longer.

4) It makes nap time a breeze

IMG_9977

I realise this will be a little controversial for some people, but Arthur has almost all of his naps in the sling. He can sleep elsewhere – but he sleeps longer and deeper if I’m wearing him.

He still has two decent naps a day, and that time is invaluable for me to get writing done – all the more so because I’m forced to stay reasonably still rather than getting on with chores around the house!

And if we’re out and about it means he’ll sleep when he’s tired – no rushing home to get him into his cot. He’s even happy to begin his night’s sleep on me if we’re out in the evenings, and there have been a couple of times recently when I’ve managed to transfer him from sling to bed, via nappy change and pyjamas, without him waking up.

5) It’s an instant tantrum soother

Arthur hasn’t really hit full on tantrum mode yet, but on the odd occasions when it looks like it might be approaching there is nothing more effective than holding him close in the sling. He might struggle a bit at first, but actually invariably cuddles are what he really wants and wearing him for a while will help him calm down and get back on top of those troublesome toddler emotions.

6) It’s made it so much easier to continue breastfeeding

IMG_0441

If I’m honest, I’m not sure I’d still be breastfeeding Arthur as regularly as I am – if at all – if it weren’t for babywearing. I’m fully aware of all of the benefits of extended breastfeeding, but if I had to stop what I was doing every time he wanted a feed I reckon I would have started to think about weaning a while ago.

But the Connecta is brilliant for breastfeeding – comfortable, and utterly discreet. I don’t even think twice about feeding Arthur when he needs it, and he certainly seems to be pretty happy about that.

7) It’s a closeness that daddy can enjoy too

IMG_1960

I know that I’m tremendously lucky to get to spend all of this time with this incredible little person, especially since a lot of that time is spent holding him close and benefitting from the magical little person cuddles. But I am also very glad that the fact Arthur loves to be worn means that my husband can also share in that wonderful closeness – often when we’re out and about at the weekends it’s Leigh who wears the baby, and it’s clear how much he and Arthur gain from that.

8) It gives us freedom 

IMG_8099

The first (and only) couple of times I took Arthur out in the pram I felt terribly self-conscious. I guess you must get used to it, but I just didn’t seem cut out for lugging this contraption around. There was one day, one of my first trips out after Leigh had gone back to work, when I walked into town with the intention of picking up a couple of bits, maybe grabbing a coffee. But the shop I wanted to go into had steps I’d never noticed before. And the coffee shop was busy – I really didn’t fancy negotiating my way around the chairs. So I gave up and went home,  resigned to not really going out much again.

But then we started babywearing, and we’ve never looked back. Whether it’s country walks or escalators, crowded pavements or steps down to a beach, music festivals or art galleries, it’s just so much easier with a sling.

And now that Arthur wants to spend at least half of his time when we’re out and about running around that’s even more true. I’m really not sure how people manage to keep one hand on the empty pram whilst chasing after the toddler. I know I couldn’t!

But with the sling it’s easy. If I need to get a move on, or we’re near a busy road, or he’s tired –  then there’s somewhere for Arthur to go. But when he wants to explore then I can clip the sling around my waist or slip it into my rucksack and I’m hands free again – ready for that all-important toddler chasing.

IMG_0495

So there you have it. I could go on, but I’m sure it’s pretty clear by now: I really, really love wearing my toddler.

I’d love to hear about your experiences too if you’re a toddler-wearing mama – please share them in the comments below, and if you have any questions then I’ll do my best to answer them.

 

 photo 93142f35-6d39-479f-b3de-d94dbca68162_zps58499252.jpg

Mums' Days

Word of the week: fun

image

This week’s been a bit of a funny one. It feels like we’ve been doing lots of different things, but at the same time it feels like we haven’t done much at all. The weather’s been pretty shocking so we’ve spent lots of time indoors, but the outings we have made to Arthur’s regular groups have been great. When we’ve been at home, Arthur’s really enjoyed getting stuck in to some serious playing and when I haven’t been entertaining him I’ve been entertaining myself with some serious Christmas planning. All in all there is only one word to describe our week, and that’s fun.

Whilst I’ve been sat getting all excited about Arthur’s advent calendar, he’s been taking advantage of my inattention to create an almighty, joyful mess.

image

There’ve been some awesome train tracks…

image

image

And some equally awesome hats.

image

image

The second one was Arthur’s pick at his drama class this week, after which we actually managed to get a bit of fresh air. We went on a tour of our local charity shops where I was on the search for present-making materials. Arthur found a brilliant wooden tractor for just 30p. He drove it home alone the harbour wall – managing to fit in plenty of puddle splashing too.

image

Back at home there’s been some serious chilling, from cuddling up to watch Attenborough’s monkeys to greeting Daddy with a cup of tea when he got back from work.

image

image

There has been a healthy dose of pure unadulterated silliness too…

image

image

All in all a week of fun and laughs and love: just as it should be.

 

The Reading Residence

 

The Q&A meme

IMG_1801

Just as I was thinking I was ahead of the game with my blogging this week Renee over at Mummy Tries goes and tags me in a meme… That’s ok though – have you seen the weather out there?!

Here are my answers to Renee’s questions whilst I try to work out what information I’m going to wheedle out of my chosen targets:

Where was your first holiday sans parents?

I went to Malaga in Spain when I was about twelve I think to stay with one of my school friends who’d moved out there. I remember being given special treatment on the plane as an ‘unaccompanied minor’, and being ridiculously jealous when I got there that Sarah had a pool. We lost touch not long after that. I often wonder what she’s up to now.

How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I would have been about the same age I think. I went to the cinema with a boy whose name completely escapes me, but who looked a lot like Chesney Hawkes. He was shorter than me too, so it didn’t last long.

What are your all-time favourite starter, main and dessert?

This is a tricky one, as my favourite food is Vietnamese or sushi and that all kind of comes together. But if I’m at a starter-main-desert kind of restaurant then… Maybe scallops? Followed by a really nice rare steak? Then tiramisu. Or maybe eton mess. Though with my nut allergy there are very few places I trust to serve me dessert.

What are your thoughts on climate change?

I think it’s a bit of a no-brainer that we’ve been mistreating our planet terribly over the past couple of centuries. I get that the world’s climate goes in cycles, so not every shift in temperature is necessarily to do with us, but with the amount of rubbish we’ve been pumping into the atmosphere I think we’d be terribly naive to think we weren’t having an impact. What to do about it is a whole other issue. I think the Western world has a huge responsibility to clean up its act, but when there are other huge nations at a different stage in their development it doesn’t exactly seem fair to say they’re not allowed to follow a similar trajectory to us. It’s all very complex and I could go on, but I think I’ll leave it at that.

Do you self-reflect?

Yes. Probably too much to be honest. I think self-refelction is absolutely vital and can be an incredibly powerful tool – I used to drive kids mad with it when I was teaching. But if it’s allowed to go unchecked then I think it can become unconstructive – my mind just doesn’t stop sometimes and I’m not sure that’s entirely healthy!

Adrian Mole, love or loathe?

I have to admit an ignorant indifference. I was too busy reading Stephen King and John Grisham when I was a teenager and have never actually picked up an Adrian Mole book…

Tell us three things about yourself you usually do not share!

There’s actually not all that much I don’t share, especially since starting this blog! Though whilst it was one of the first things I blogged about, I’m often reluctant to admit I went to private school when I meet people, as I feel like they’ll judge me because of it – especially since it’s so contrary to my politics. I have a guilty addiction to Casualty and Holby City that I very rarely talk about. And increasingly, depending on who I’m talking to, I’m becoming nervous to admit that I’m still breastfeeding my almost two year old. Which is bonkers really because it’s a personal decision that I’m very happy and proud about!

So there you go. Thank you, Renee, for the tag – it’s always actually quite fun doing these things, and your questions have definitely got things out of me I haven’t written about elsewhere…

I would like to invite the following lovely bloggers to answer my seven questions which are listed below:

Jocelyn at The Reading Residence

Iona at Redpeffer

Hannah at Make, Do and Push!

Merlinda at Pixiedusk

Dean at Little Steps

Louise at Little Hearts, Big Love

And those questions are:

Where in the world would you most like to be right now?

What do you love most about having your blog?

Who is the person that you most admire?

What keeps you awake at night?

What is your all-time favourite breakfast?

Which song makes you smile every time you hear it?

If you could go back and give one piece of advice to your fifteen year old self, what would it be?

And now it’s over to you!

 

Thirty

image

I’ve just made myself feel really sad writing this. The girl in the fort is all grown up, reflecting on what that means in a letter to the man she loves. 

***

Dear L,

I look at myself now and wonder what you would think of me. It’s my birthday again. I’m thirty years old.

Back then, when we were young, this really was old. You promised me that if I turned thirty and I was still alone then you’d come to my rescue. And now it’s happened, and I am. But you’re not here.

All the people around me say that I shouldn’t feel old. That thirty is so young, that I still have so much of my life ahead of me. They don’t understand that I stopped living a long time ago.

Not that I don’t have a life. There’s a lot I’ve done that I’m proud of. I have a job – a career even. And a house. And a cat. Don’t laugh – I think you’d like her. She probably wouldn’t like you much, but then she doesn’t really like anyone except me.

So in many ways I’m ticking all the boxes, doing all the things that we used to say people do when they get old. I thought I’d be happier, though. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now.

My friends are all getting married of course. Having kids.

Our son would be fourteen this year. The same age as I was when we first kissed, do you remember?

I hope you’re both happy, wherever you are.

Love J,

Forever and always.

***

Thank you to Sara at Mum Turned Mom for inspiring this post with her prompt: age. And to my characters for continuing to speak to me

 

 

mumturnedmom

 

Nikki Young Writes

Ten toddler-friendly advent calendar gifts

IMG_0572

I posted earlier this week about the advent calendar I made for Arthur last year. I’m really looking forward to getting it out again this December, but before I do I have the challenge of how to fill it.

There is of course the option of something edible: whether it’s sweets or chocolates or homemade cookies this would be a fairly traditional way to go. I’m not sure I want to start every day in December with something sugary but I might slip a couple in along the way.

I love the idea that the little gifts will build the anticipation as Christmas approaches – things to talk about, or to spark off activities to get us in the festive spirit. The tricky thing is finding gifts which are at least vaguely suitable for a nearly two year old, but I think I’ve managed to come up with some ideas that will work.

1) Bubbles

IMG_6914

These were a real hit last year and I think will make it in again. Chasing bubbles around is certainly a fun way to start a December morning! There are various mini bubbles in festive designs out there, though I’m pretty sure the toddler in your life won’t be too worried about the package they come in…

2) Bells

IMG_7299

This was a bit of a specific find last year – a set of baby-friendly blocks with little jingle bells inside. I separated out the blocks into different days and they fitted together to form an ever-growing musical instrument. There are probably other options you could find for older toddlers – and it was nice to inject a bit of music-making into the build up to Christmas.

3) Crayons

This is a new idea for this year, as Arthur’s really starting to get into drawing. Dapper Baby have some great handmade ones in different shapes – the penguins and angels are particularly festive. I might even get a Christmas colouring book too to add to the fun…

4) Finger puppets

IMG_7156

Last year I found a little collection of Christmas finger puppets which definitely put a smile on Arthur’s face. They were handy as December unfolded, providing something to keep him entertained at family gatherings and on journeys to see friends. This year I couldn’t resist a Gruffalo’s child set to spread across several days though this is rather more than I was intending to spend. I think I’ll be making my own next year!

5) Balloons

IMG_7445

Again an easy crowd pleaser, blowing up a balloon never fails to get Arthur excited – by the time Christmas came around last year he had a whole collection to play with.

6) Plastic animals

Arthur loves these little Schleich plastic animals, and as long as he’s being supervised I’m happy for him to play with them. They’re a bit more expensive than my other gift ideas, but I might slip in one or two as an extra special treat.

7) Christmas socks

IMG_7347

What would Christmas be without some festive socks to keep toes toasty warm? And the ones that fit on tiny feet are perfect for squishing into a pocket on an advent calendar.

8) Stickers

A really easy and cheap solution, little festive stickers (cut from larger sheets) are perfect to slip into the smaller pockets.

9) Tree decorations

IMG_7379

I made some little felt decorations last year that Arthur and I could hang on the tree together. He really loved it, so that’s another idea I’m going to repeat.

10) Treasure map

I’ve just come across the concept of Christmas eve boxes, which I think are a lovely idea and a tradition I very much intend to steal. The perfect place for some new pyjamas, a Christmassy book, maybe a couple of carrots for the reindeer… So this year my 24th December pocket will contain a map – and together we can hunt down this final extra special pre-Christmas treat!

So there you have it! Ten different ideas for toddler-friendly advent calendar gifts, many of which can be made or bought very cheaply, and with a couple of variations on each theme easily enough to fill twenty four little pockets.

I’m always on the lookout for new inspiration though, so if you have any other ideas then please share them in the comments.

 

Mums' Days

Listening to the world

IMG_3804

I’ve written before about how taking a leaf out of Arthur’s book really helps me as a writer – seeing things around me through fresh eyes, finding new perspectives and stories in the everyday. This is especially true about the stage I’m at with my third novel at the moment. It’s just beginning, there are ideas and possibilities floating around all over the place, and it’s my job to be open to them, to gather them together so I can begin to weave them into a plot.

A huge swathe of inspiration is already inside my head. My main characters set up camp in there a while ago and, it seems, have been getting to know themselves and each other whilst I’ve been busy doing other things. The girl – I don’t know her name yet – spoke to me the other night. It was about two in the morning, and she said:

I knew it was wrong, even then. Of course when I say ‘wrong’ I mean ‘considered inappropriate’. But it all is when you’re a teenager, isn’t it? Everything you breathe or think or do. So that really didn’t help me calibrate my moral compass.

I’ve finally downloaded Evernote on to my phone so her words are safely stashed away on there. Along with a photo of a bench, and a growing collection of images which capture  Brixham forty years ago.

The girl popped into my head again as I was thinking about Sara’s prompt of Smoke. She led me to a longer piece of writing then, one which taught me a surprising amount about her (and him).

I think this might be a key part of my method this time round: just writing the scenes that come into my head, before I even work the ideas into a coherent plan. These scenes might make it into the finished story, or they might not – but I love the idea of listening a little bit more closely to what my characters have to offer before trying to pigeonhole them.

The other place I’m looking for inspiration is in the past. Much of the story unfolds in the late 1970s/early 1980s. I was born in 1978, but it’s not a period I know an awful lot about and I’m finding it fascinating discovering more. My primary reference point at the moment is Crisis? What Crisis?: Britain in the 1970s by Alwyn W. Turner, and even in the opening chapters I’ve already found some historical gems which sit perfectly alongside the story that’s beginning to emerge.

And then there’s my town. It’s actually really lovely to be mulling over a tale which belongs here after the first two novels which are very firmly rooted in London. It means that every stroll or errand or minute spent gazing out of the window becomes an integral part of my research. I’m planning to formalise that soon, reaching out to local people who might be able to add to what I know of Brixham – particularly its past.

But for now I’m very happy listening to the world, both inside and outside my head, and I can’t wait to see where else it takes me.

 

Muddled Manuscript

Animals!

Fuelled by his books and his soft toys and his developing penchant for David Attenborough, Arthur is becoming increasingly interested in animals. So with a couple of hours to spare yesterday afternoon we thought we’d wrap up warm and take him to the zoo.

image

I’ve written about how much we love Paignton zoo before, but this was the first time we suggested a trip and Arthur became excited just with the anticipation of it. And his excitement grew and grew once we were inside.

We saw snakes, just like in The Gruffalo.

image

image

We saw tortoises (that Arthur insisted were turtles) having their lunch.

image

And a crocodile (that Arthur insisted was a dinosaur) having a nap.

image

We saw lots of different types of monkeys, doing all sorts of monkey-type things. The monkeys are Arthur’s current favourite of Attenborough’s topics, and the one he asks to watch most often.

image

image

image

But best of all was a very patient goat, who Arthur was thrilled to get up close to and who very kindly let Arthur give him a hug.

image

image

image

All in all it made a small boy very happy, and I will definitely be taking him back again to see the animals very soon.

 
Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall

Making an advent calendar

image

This time last year, I decided I wanted to make Arthur an advent calendar. I wasn’t keen on him having a chocolate one – and besides, that’s always been a bit of a minefield with my nut allergy – but I wanted a way to make the countdown to Christmas special.

I looked at the various ideas available online, and whilst there were lots of great designs none of them felt quite right. So the only thing for it was to come up with something myself.

After paying a visit to our local haberdasher I came away with this gorgeous fabric by Makower. It reminded me of the winter skies above Torbay, and that’s what got me thinking… Why not create a design which celebrated where we lived? A Christmas boat sailing on the Devon seas.

I’m going to take you through my process in this post, but you could use it to create any design that suits you and your special little person. A Christmas train was my other main idea, or maybe a wintery woodland scene. As long as you can work out where to fit in the pockets then the only limit is your imagination.

You will need:

– Paper and pencil for sketching out a design

– Sewing kit – I made mine by hand but a machine would be handy too!

– Two large pieces of fabric for the base – mine were approx 110cm x 80cm

– Smaller pieces of fabric for the details – remember you’ll need extra for the pockets!

– Embroidery thread

– Finishing touches (ribbon , bells etc)

– A wooden dowel the width of your calendar with two screw in hooks for the ends

– Cord for hanging

Step one: Sketch out your design

Keep it bold and simple, and remember to incorporate the all-important pockets.

Step two: Create your ‘canvas’

image

I split my scene into the sea and the sky, and backed it with some sparkly tweed I found online. The thicker fabric was pretty handy to help give the finished product some solidity. Sew around three edges of your canvas but keep the top edge open – that way you can hide all your stitching. Alternatively you could leave the backing until the very end – maybe easier if you’re using a machine…

Step three: Start to add the detail

image

image

Depending on your design you may wish to create templates for some or all of it. I freestyled the boat but created paper templates for the smaller elements.

Step four: Create the pockets

image

Again depending on your design these may be intrinsic to the design elements (for example the sail pockets and the portholes) or added on later (like the stockings and the fish). You will need to decide on the best order to sew the different parts together!

Step five: Add your numbers

image

I actually left this until the very end, but in retrospect it would probably have been easier to add the numbers before sewing everything on to the base. I looked at various patches/ pre-made numbers, but in the end decided that embroidering them on would be the best way to get the effect I wanted. I just used a simple back stitch, but you could really go to town with this if you have the skills!

Step six: Put it all together

image

Once you have all of the elements of your design ready then all that remains is to sew them on to the base. This would be way quicker using a machine, though I did find the hand sewing quite therapeutic on dark November evenings!

Step seven: Get ready to hang

image

Once the design was complete, I folded over the top and created a space for the pole to go through for hanging – because of your double layer, you should be able to stitch the back in such a way that it doesn’t spoil the front of your design (the little robins *may* have come about because I messed this up at first…). Then slip the dowel through, screw a little hook to each end, tie on the cord and you’re ready to go.

image

The next challenge is to find twenty-four little gifts to go inside the pockets – but that’s a story for another post… Suffice to say, Arthur loved it. I can’t wait to get it out again this year!

 


 photo 93142f35-6d39-479f-b3de-d94dbca68162_zps58499252.jpg