Category Archives: Sophie is parenting

Word of the Week: Festive

It’s been a bit of a challenging week this week. I’ve still had loads to organise to get to a position where I feel like I’m ready for the craziness of December. On top of that we’ve had lots going on to take us out of the house – what with the rugby in Cardiff last weekend and playdates for Arthur, governors and trustees meetings and chats about possible avenues for researching my next novel, and getting things together for a whistle-stop trip to London this weekend, it’s all been a bit hectic! And then on top of THAT Arthur’s been a bit under the weather – nothing serious (don’t worry mum), but enough that he’s been a bit grumpy and we’ve had three nights now of even more broken sleep than usual.

But in between all of that, the over-riding feeling for me this week is that it’s beginning to look an awful lot like Christmas. And I can’t help but begin to get a teensy bit excited.

Arthur’s music group has been becoming increasingly festive over the past couple of weeks, with yummy Christmas spices, a serious dose of tinsel and yesterday an introduction to decorating the tree!

The tree’s up in Brixham harbour too, waiting patiently for the big Christmas illuminations switch on this weekend. I’m a bit gutted we’re going to miss it actually – there’s going to be a lantern parade and fireworks and everything – but my lovely Barcelona friends are over in London for one weekend only.

An advantage of not being at home this weekend is that it’s meant we’ve had to get very efficient with our own preparations and our tree actually went up yesterday! More on that in another post though…

I’ve got Arthur’s advent calendar all sorted too, ready for when we get home on the evening of the 1st of December. I loved putting all the little treats in their pockets (and am happy to say they all fitted!). I can’t wait to see what he makes of it all.

He’s already enjoyed some Christmas crafting – discovering glitter for the first time as we created the artwork for his Christmas cards.

My crafting is underway too, though I can’t give too much away about that without spoiling peoples’ surprises! I will say though that the little project I did yesterday might be my favourite ‘make’ yet, and I’m already looking forward to blogging about it in January.

So all in all a pretty festive week, and the start of what I think is going to be a very special festive season now that Arthur is old enough to have a bit more of a sense of what’s going on. I have a feeling his mind might be blown by the sparkle and spectacle of the decorations in London. And on that note I’d better get a move on – we have a train to catch!

Word of the Week: Organised

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I’ve been getting organised on so many levels this week, sorting out a whole bunch of things I’ve been meaning to do for ages – it’s been properly exhausting! I’d built up an epic to do list (mainly in my head) over the past few months of novel-writing, and with that in a bit of a natural lull and Christmas and Arthur’s birthday fast approaching it was time to tackle it.

It started last Saturday with an afternoon in Totnes for Christmas shopping and a long-overdue haircut. I don’t actually think I’d been to the hairdresser since Arthur was born – and my hair went from this:

To this:

Not bad huh? And infinitely more manageable…

The Christmas shopping was pretty successful, though generally rather than getting gifts I was looking for materials… I decided a while ago that I really wanted to try to make most of my presents this year, and though it seems like a bit of a crazy idea I haven’t been able to shake it. So we were trawling charity shops and craft shops and haberdashers for bits and pieces I thought I might be able to use. We did come across one thing we absolutely had to have – I’m making Arthur a doll for Christmas and we came across this gorgeous vintage pram in Oxfam:

You may remember that he rather likes prams, and I imagine this one will be used to push all sorts of things around!

By Monday I had a list of present ideas, a bunch of crafty bits and bobs, and various other things I still had to get online. With the help of Ebay and Etsy (and a little bit of Amazon) that proved to be fairly easy to solve, but there was a bigger issue looming, one which I just couldn’t ignore any longer: the mess.

When we moved into our house it needed top to toe renovation, and the work was finally finished (well, almost) about a week before Arthur was born. We did a reasonable job of getting ourselves sorted, but there were still bags and boxes I hadn’t really touched since the move and Arthur’s arrival obviously added a whole other layer of stuff. Two rooms were really suffering: our bedroom, which the three of us have basically shared since Arthur was born and which was full of piles of his clothes despite him having a perfectly good room of his own, and my study – this is where all the untouched piles had ended up, because after all I only need my desk and computer to write, right?

But suddenly I had a whole host of fairly ambitious craft projects to tackle. I needed somewhere to put my materials where they weren’t going to get sucked into the mess, and I am going to have to set my sewing machine up somewhere.

So I’ve blitzed this room. I’ve thrown out and filed and rehomed and I now actually feel like there’s room to breathe in here. In the process I’ve come across all sorts of interesting things. A whole stack of notebooks for example, from diaries full of teenage angst to teaching planning to gloriously empty pages waiting to be filled. I’d thought I’d lost them all somewhere along the way, so I was very pleased to see them.

There were other things too, piles of papers that I’m very glad I hadn’t just thrown away as hiding in between what looked like rubbish were letters and cards from old friends that I’d forgotten even existed (the letters, not the friends). All safely stashed away now, but not before I reread them all. There have been some very late nights this week…

And of course then there was Arthur’s room. This wasn’t so essential on a practical level, but there were too many things niggling away at me that really needed tackling at some point that I figured I’d just get it done whilst I was feeling efficient.

So I’ve been through all the piles of clothes that I haven’t streamlined since before Easter, putting away two big bags that don’t fit him any more and tidying the rest into his room. I moved some of his toys up that had spilled into the lounge too – in particular his Ikea circus tent which is now a gorgeous little reading nook with cushions and bears and lots of stories. As I was doing all this, the unfinished family trees on the walls were taunting me, so I finally got round to finding some photos to put in them.

Arthur loves them, especially at night when he says goodnight to everyone as part of his bedtime routine. He’s definitely very ready to be spending a bit more time in his room. I’m sure he’ll still come in with us for part of the night, and his play will of course continue to spill out to wherever I am, but there’s something very lovely about him having his own special place too.

And in the midst of all of this I somehow managed to snatch some time to start organising my ideas for my next novel too. It involved coffee, and a beautiful notebook. Bliss.

So all in all an extremely productive and organised week! Now I’d best get on with making those presents…

Why we cannot afford to get complacent about our right to breastfeed our babies

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A storm erupted on social media yesterday which reminded me that we still have a long way to go before society fully accepts that it is perfectly normal and natural for babies to be fed from a woman’s breasts.

As I’m writing this, my toddler is nursing in the sling. It’s easy to get complacent in my own little corner of the universe – to forget that there are still many people who would look on what I’m doing as disgusting. Sure there are reminders now and again. The woman called a ‘slut’ by an elderly couple for breastfeeding her child in a coffee shop in London. The nursing mother subjected to abuse by teenagers on a local bus route. But it’s relatively easy to dismiss these as little pockets of ignorance – important to stand up against, yes, but situations that arose in the heat of the moment.

And then yesterday it emerged that a popular ‘family friendly’ cafe in leafy Surrey had decided it was appropriate to display this sign on their front door:

I, like many others, was gobsmacked. I mean – what were they thinking? A woman’s right to breastfeed her child – and indeed that child’s right to be nourished and nurtured – is entrenched in law. It is illegal in this country to tell a woman she cannot breastfeed her child, or indeed to discriminate against her in any way for that reason.

But here is an established business telling its clientele, openly and publicly, that they have the right to tell breastfeeding mothers to feed in the toilet.

This is wrong on so many levels. There is the fundamental idiocy of suggesting that it is in any way appropriate for a baby to eat in the place where people defecate. I have yet to find anyone who has expressed this as well as the poet Hollie McNish, so I’m just going to leave this here:

There is the thinly veiled implication that well-behaved dogs are more welcome than breastfeeding mothers and their babies, the mind-bending logistics of a group of mums taking it in turns to leave their friends and their coffee and cake at the table and take their baby and the thoughtfully provided chair into the disabled toilet. Or perhaps the whole group is expected to relocate, coffee and cake and all.

All of this aside though, there is a psychology at play here which is insidious and dangerous, and that is where for me the biggest problem lies.

I’m not too worried about me. I hope I’d have the guts to tell the cafe where to stick their sign. I know my rights, and I’m confident enough in the many benefits to me and my child of continuing our breastfeeding relationship that I wouldn’t be put off by such an impolite notice.

But what of those who are less confident? What of the mum in the early stages of breastfeeding her child who is self-conscious and embarrassed? What if she decides that this precious social time with her friends is so important that maybe she’ll just take a bottle to feed her baby when she goes out? What of her dwindling supply, her feelings of failure and resignation to not being able to follow through on her desire to breastfeed? What of her child, missing out on the many benefits that nursing can bring?

Not forgetting the rest of the cafe’s clientele. Like with many forms of discrimination, there are the people whose discomfort at being in the company of a breastfeeding mother simmers just below the surface. Seeing an official sign like this normalises their attitude, perhaps increasing their confidence in expressing their inappropriate views in another situation.

The cafe has claimed that there was a misunderstanding. Using the oldest excuse for bigotry in the book, the cafe owner has claimed that having breastfed her own children how could she possibly be discriminating against breastfeeding mothers. But there is nothing I can find in that sign that is ambiguous: she claims she has the right to ask breastfeeding mothers to feed in the toilet. And that is unequivocally wrong.

The cafe’s ratings on various online sites have plummeted after people expressed their disgust at their gall. The prospect of a nurse-in protest was clearly not one the owner wanted to face, and I understand the sign has now been taken down.

This is ultimately a good thing. But it took five weeks for this story to be picked up by social media – that’s a long time for something so damaging to be in the public sphere.

So whilst this particular tale of discrimination might have something approaching a happy ending, it is clear to me that this is not a time for us to be complacent. Not at all.

Why I love wearing my toddler

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I’ve been meaning to write this post for ages. I got distracted during International Babywearing Week and a few irritating encounters meant I ended up writing about the things not to say to a babywearing mama. But actually my experience of wearing my ever-growing baby is an overwhelmingly positive one, and as Arthur approaches his second birthday that’s what I want to focus on.

So without any further ado, here are the reasons why I absolutely love wearing my toddler:

1) It gives us both some company

I don’t drive, which means that getting anywhere tends to involve lots of walking and often also the bus. This would mean that Arthur would be spending an awful lot of time in a pram, which to me would seem a rather lonely option for both of us!

With Arthur in the sling, he’s up on my level. He sees the things I see, and we can talk about them. When I bump into friends he’s right in the middle of the conversation – not waiting for me to finish whilst he looks at our knees.

I love that he’s included in my world, and that I get to have him there as a little companion. Even with a parent-facing pram I think that closeness would be very hard to achieve.

2) It keeps him safe

Now I’m not saying that prams aren’t safe, but there have been lots of situations when I’ve been glad that Arthur’s up where I can really keep an eye on him.

In crowds for example, especially if there are smokers about. Or in heavy traffic: less of an issue in Devon, but on the London streets I become very conscious that a pram would put him at exhaust level. On our country walks dogs are more often the issue – we’ve had a few close calls when he’s enthusiastically run up to embrace them, but it’s nice to know I can whisk him up if I need to.

I know if he’s too hot or too cold, if he’s frightened or sad. Ultimately there can’t really be anywhere safer for my little boy than cuddled up next to me.

3) It keeps me strong

There is no denying that walking around with a 15kg weight strapped to you feels like a pretty good workout after a couple of hours. My carrier distributes the weight evenly so I very rarely have an aching back, but my core and my legs are definitely working harder.

With wearing a toddler, it becomes even more important to have a well designed carrier. I love my Connecta for it’s combination of support and ease of use, whilst other toddler-wearing friends swear by the more traditional Mei Tais or woven wraps. There are a whole range of slings and carriers designed for toddlers and even pre-schoolers on the market – something I had no idea about before I entered the wonderful world of babywearing, and something well worth investigating if you’re keen to keep on wearing your baby for longer.

4) It makes nap time a breeze

I realise this will be a little controversial for some people, but Arthur has almost all of his naps in the sling. He can sleep elsewhere – but he sleeps longer and deeper if I’m wearing him.

He still has two decent naps a day, and that time is invaluable for me to get writing done – all the more so because I’m forced to stay reasonably still rather than getting on with chores around the house!

And if we’re out and about it means he’ll sleep when he’s tired – no rushing home to get him into his cot. He’s even happy to begin his night’s sleep on me if we’re out in the evenings, and there have been a couple of times recently when I’ve managed to transfer him from sling to bed, via nappy change and pyjamas, without him waking up.

5) It’s an instant tantrum soother

Arthur hasn’t really hit full on tantrum mode yet, but on the odd occasions when it looks like it might be approaching there is nothing more effective than holding him close in the sling. He might struggle a bit at first, but actually invariably cuddles are what he really wants and wearing him for a while will help him calm down and get back on top of those troublesome toddler emotions.

6) It’s made it so much easier to continue breastfeeding

If I’m honest, I’m not sure I’d still be breastfeeding Arthur as regularly as I am – if at all – if it weren’t for babywearing. I’m fully aware of all of the benefits of extended breastfeeding, but if I had to stop what I was doing every time he wanted a feed I reckon I would have started to think about weaning a while ago.

But the Connecta is brilliant for breastfeeding – comfortable, and utterly discreet. I don’t even think twice about feeding Arthur when he needs it, and he certainly seems to be pretty happy about that.

7) It’s a closeness that daddy can enjoy too

I know that I’m tremendously lucky to get to spend all of this time with this incredible little person, especially since a lot of that time is spent holding him close and benefitting from the magical little person cuddles. But I am also very glad that the fact Arthur loves to be worn means that my husband can also share in that wonderful closeness – often when we’re out and about at the weekends it’s Leigh who wears the baby, and it’s clear how much he and Arthur gain from that.

8) It gives us freedom

The first (and only) couple of times I took Arthur out in the pram I felt terribly self-conscious. I guess you must get used to it, but I just didn’t seem cut out for lugging this contraption around. There was one day, one of my first trips out after Leigh had gone back to work, when I walked into town with the intention of picking up a couple of bits, maybe grabbing a coffee. But the shop I wanted to go into had steps I’d never noticed before. And the coffee shop was busy – I really didn’t fancy negotiating my way around the chairs. So I gave up and went home, resigned to not really going out much again.

But then we started babywearing, and we’ve never looked back. Whether it’s country walks or escalators, crowded pavements or steps down to a beach, music festivals or art galleries, it’s just so much easier with a sling.

And now that Arthur wants to spend at least half of his time when we’re out and about running around that’s even more true. I’m really not sure how people manage to keep one hand on the empty pram whilst chasing after the toddler. I know I couldn’t!

But with the sling it’s easy. If I need to get a move on, or we’re near a busy road, or he’s tired – then there’s somewhere for Arthur to go. But when he wants to explore then I can clip the sling around my waist or slip it into my rucksack and I’m hands free again – ready for that all-important toddler chasing.

So there you have it. I could go on, but I’m sure it’s pretty clear by now: I really, really love wearing my toddler.

I’d love to hear about your experiences too if you’re a toddler-wearing mama – please share them in the comments below, and if you have any questions then I’ll do my best to answer them.

Word of the week: fun

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This week’s been a bit of a funny one. It feels like we’ve been doing lots of different things, but at the same time it feels like we haven’t done much at all. The weather’s been pretty shocking so we’ve spent lots of time indoors, but the outings we have made to Arthur’s regular groups have been great. When we’ve been at home, Arthur’s really enjoyed getting stuck in to some serious playing and when I haven’t been entertaining him I’ve been entertaining myself with some serious Christmas planning. All in all there is only one word to describe our week, and that’s fun.

Whilst I’ve been sat getting all excited about Arthur’s advent calendar, he’s been taking advantage of my inattention to create an almighty, joyful mess.

There’ve been some awesome train tracks…

And some equally awesome hats.

The second one was Arthur’s pick at his drama class this week, after which we actually managed to get a bit of fresh air. We went on a tour of our local charity shops where I was on the search for present-making materials. Arthur found a brilliant wooden tractor for just 30p. He drove it home alone the harbour wall – managing to fit in plenty of puddle splashing too.

Back at home there’s been some serious chilling, from cuddling up to watch Attenborough’s monkeys to greeting Daddy with a cup of tea when he got back from work.

There has been a healthy dose of pure unadulterated silliness too…

All in all a week of fun and laughs and love: just as it should be.

Ten toddler-friendly advent calendar gifts

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I posted earlier this week about the advent calendar I made for Arthur last year. I’m really looking forward to getting it out again this December, but before I do I have the challenge of how to fill it.

There is of course the option of something edible: whether it’s sweets or chocolates or homemade cookies this would be a fairly traditional way to go. I’m not sure I want to start every day in December with something sugary but I might slip a couple in along the way.

I love the idea that the little gifts will build the anticipation as Christmas approaches – things to talk about, or to spark off activities to get us in the festive spirit. The tricky thing is finding gifts which are at least vaguely suitable for a nearly two year old, but I think I’ve managed to come up with some ideas that will work.

1) Bubbles

These were a real hit last year and I think will make it in again. Chasing bubbles around is certainly a fun way to start a December morning! There are various mini bubbles in festive designs out there, though I’m pretty sure the toddler in your life won’t be too worried about the package they come in…

2) Bells

This was a bit of a specific find last year – a set of baby-friendly blocks with little jingle bells inside. I separated out the blocks into different days and they fitted together to form an ever-growing musical instrument. There are probably other options you could find for older toddlers – and it was nice to inject a bit of music-making into the build up to Christmas.

3) Crayons

This is a new idea for this year, as Arthur’s really starting to get into drawing. Dapper Baby have some great handmade ones in different shapes – the penguins and angels are particularly festive. I might even get a Christmas colouring book too to add to the fun…

4) Finger puppets

Last year I found a little collection of Christmas finger puppets which definitely put a smile on Arthur’s face. They were handy as December unfolded, providing something to keep him entertained at family gatherings and on journeys to see friends. This year I couldn’t resist a Gruffalo’s child set to spread across several days though this is rather more than I was intending to spend. I think I’ll be making my own next year!

5) Balloons

Again an easy crowd pleaser, blowing up a balloon never fails to get Arthur excited – by the time Christmas came around last year he had a whole collection to play with.

6) Plastic animals

Arthur loves these little Schleich plastic animals, and as long as he’s being supervised I’m happy for him to play with them. They’re a bit more expensive than my other gift ideas, but I might slip in one or two as an extra special treat.

7) Christmas socks

What would Christmas be without some festive socks to keep toes toasty warm? And the ones that fit on tiny feet are perfect for squishing into a pocket on an advent calendar.

8) Stickers

A really easy and cheap solution, little festive stickers (cut from larger sheets) are perfect to slip into the smaller pockets.

9) Tree decorations

I made some little felt decorations last year that Arthur and I could hang on the tree together. He really loved it, so that’s another idea I’m going to repeat.

10) Treasure map

I’ve just come across the concept of Christmas eve boxes, which I think are a lovely idea and a tradition I very much intend to steal. The perfect place for some new pyjamas, a Christmassy book, maybe a couple of carrots for the reindeer… So this year my 24th December pocket will contain a map – and together we can hunt down this final extra special pre-Christmas treat!

So there you have it! Ten different ideas for toddler-friendly advent calendar gifts, many of which can be made or bought very cheaply, and with a couple of variations on each theme easily enough to fill twenty four little pockets.

I’m always on the lookout for new inspiration though, so if you have any other ideas then please share them in the comments.

Animals!

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Fuelled by his books and his soft toys and his developing penchant for David Attenborough, Arthur is becoming increasingly interested in animals. So with a couple of hours to spare yesterday afternoon we thought we’d wrap up warm and take him to the zoo.

I’ve written about how much we love Paignton zoo before, but this was the first time we suggested a trip and Arthur became excited just with the anticipation of it. And his excitement grew and grew once we were inside.

We saw snakes, just like in The Gruffalo.

We saw tortoises (that Arthur insisted were turtles) having their lunch.

And a crocodile (that Arthur insisted was a dinosaur) having a nap.

We saw lots of different types of monkeys, doing all sorts of monkey-type things. The monkeys are Arthur’s current favourite of Attenborough’s topics, and the one he asks to watch most often.

But best of all was a very patient goat, who Arthur was thrilled to get up close to and who very kindly let Arthur give him a hug.

All in all it made a small boy very happy, and I will definitely be taking him back again to see the animals very soon.

Making an advent calendar

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This time last year, I decided I wanted to make Arthur an advent calendar. I wasn’t keen on him having a chocolate one – and besides, that’s always been a bit of a minefield with my nut allergy – but I wanted a way to make the countdown to Christmas special.

I looked at the various ideas available online, and whilst there were lots of great designs none of them felt quite right. So the only thing for it was to come up with something myself.

After paying a visit to our local haberdasher I came away with this gorgeous fabric by Makower. It reminded me of the winter skies above Torbay, and that’s what got me thinking… Why not create a design which celebrated where we lived? A Christmas boat sailing on the Devon seas.

I’m going to take you through my process in this post, but you could use it to create any design that suits you and your special little person. A Christmas train was my other main idea, or maybe a wintery woodland scene. As long as you can work out where to fit in the pockets then the only limit is your imagination.

You will need:

– Paper and pencil for sketching out a design

– Sewing kit – I made mine by hand but a machine would be handy too!

– Two large pieces of fabric for the base – mine were approx 110cm x 80cm

– Smaller pieces of fabric for the details – remember you’ll need extra for the pockets!

– Embroidery thread

– Finishing touches (ribbon , bells etc)

– A wooden dowel the width of your calendar with two screw in hooks for the ends

– Cord for hanging

Step one: Sketch out your design

Keep it bold and simple, and remember to incorporate the all-important pockets.

Step two: Create your ‘canvas’

I split my scene into the sea and the sky, and backed it with some sparkly tweed I found online. The thicker fabric was pretty handy to help give the finished product some solidity. Sew around three edges of your canvas but keep the top edge open – that way you can hide all your stitching. Alternatively you could leave the backing until the very end – maybe easier if you’re using a machine…

Step three: Start to add the detail

Depending on your design you may wish to create templates for some or all of it. I freestyled the boat but created paper templates for the smaller elements.

Step four: Create the pockets

Again depending on your design these may be intrinsic to the design elements (for example the sail pockets and the portholes) or added on later (like the stockings and the fish). You will need to decide on the best order to sew the different parts together!

Step five: Add your numbers

I actually left this until the very end, but in retrospect it would probably have been easier to add the numbers before sewing everything on to the base. I looked at various patches/ pre-made numbers, but in the end decided that embroidering them on would be the best way to get the effect I wanted. I just used a simple back stitch, but you could really go to town with this if you have the skills!

Step six: Put it all together

Once you have all of the elements of your design ready then all that remains is to sew them on to the base. This would be way quicker using a machine, though I did find the hand sewing quite therapeutic on dark November evenings!

Step seven: Get ready to hang

Once the design was complete, I folded over the top and created a space for the pole to go through for hanging – because of your double layer, you should be able to stitch the back in such a way that it doesn’t spoil the front of your design (the little robins *may* have come about because I messed this up at first…). Then slip the dowel through, screw a little hook to each end, tie on the cord and you’re ready to go.

The next challenge is to find twenty-four little gifts to go inside the pockets – but that’s a story for another post… Suffice to say, Arthur loved it. I can’t wait to get it out again this year!

Word of the week: cold

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I’ve been struggling a bit with my first cold of the season this week: a sniffling, lethargy-inducing, lingering cold, not enough to really stop me doing anything but certainly enough to make it all that bit more difficult. But that’s not actually what this post is about.

What I’ve really noticed this week is just how cold it’s becoming! It was like someone flicked a switch, plunging us from unseasonably warm vest-top-in-November sort of weather into the (admittedly far more appropriate) biting winds and deepening chill that requires layers and hats and a brisk pace to escape its grasp.

But this post isn’t actually about the weather either. It’s just that the cold seems to be the common link between my favourite moments from this week.

One of which was the arrival of Arthur’s first ever pair of slippers. We have wooden floors in most of our house, so slippery socks are not really an option to keep Arthur’s toes warm. He wasn’t even walking this time last year so it wasn’t really an issue, but now with the hurtling up and down the corridors I needed to come up with something. And I found these.

They’re by Living Kitzbuhel, soft and cosy enough to be comfortable for hours of wear yet tough enough to stand up to the endless energy of a toddler. They certainly seem to be doing the job.

The other memorable moment from this week, when the three of us all wrapped up and ventured into the cold, was bonfire night. We went to see the fireworks at Sherwell Valley Primary School. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but we had a brilliant night. When we arrived, Arthur was enthralled by all the lights flashing in the darkness.

He was cosied up in the sling beneath our brilliant babywearing coat, and was very happy for a while to watch the gathering crowds from there. He did start to get a little bit restless, wondering I think why we were all standing around in the cold and the darkness, but fortunately the explosions of colour distracted him before too long.

It was a brilliant display – and whilst Arthur spent most of it looking more than a little bit shell shocked, he still hasn’t stopped talking about the fireworks.

We’ve had a couple of wintery walks as well, and I have to concede that there’s something rather lovely about the crisp, refreshing air that I may even have missed, just a little bit.

So bring it on winter – we’re ready for you!

Z is for zero

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Day zero to be precise: the day when all of those months of planning and anticipation and expectation came to an end and I became a mum.

Moments after this photo was taken, on the Paignton platform of the Dartmouth Steam Railway, my waters broke. I was taken by surprise a little because Arthur actually wasn’t due for a couple more days. I remembered what we’d been told in our antenatal classes, and fully expected that this might not imminently signal the start of labour – we’d been told only to get concerned if things hadn’t started progressing within 48 hours. But half an hour later, just after I’d sat down with my family for lunch, I experienced my first contraction. It was beginning.

You can read the rest of my birth story here.

But what’s most significant about this picture, about the person I was and the thoughts I had on that last day out before Arthur was born, is how much everything changed once he was here.

I thought I knew what to expect. I thought I knew how I would want to do things, what sort of mum I wanted to be, what I would be capable of. But I know now that I really had no idea. It’s been such an incredibly steep learning curve over the past twenty-two months, and my primary teacher has been my son.

And I love that.

I love that for all my love of planning, my tendency to want to be in control of everything all of the time, to want to know what’s coming and anticipate how I’m going to react to it, I’ve actually been able to let go so much.

I can’t say it’s true of other aspects of my life, but I love that where parenting Arthur is concerned I’ve generally managed to let him take the lead in our adventure. And as his second birthday fast approaches, and that bump which transformed into a baby and then a toddler is fast transforming into a little boy, I know that for all that has happened over the past two years, our adventure is still just beginning.

Z is for zero.

Joining in with The Alphabet Photography Project over at PODcast.

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Sophie is…

on a journey of (re)discovery in a brave new world.